Saturday January 26, 2013
Meeting the right one
By NG BEI SHAN
beishan@thestar.com.my
IF you have all the money but you can only invest it in one place, where would it be? This sounds like the silliest question because all investors will tell you, never ever put all your eggs in one basket.
This may not apply in a romantic relationship because people will do many things just to ensure they choose the “right one”. It is an investment in a sense that people put in the time and effort to make relationships work. It is also due to this exclusivity when a person meets his or her other half that makes the search for the right one valuable.
Before the “hunt”, it is essential to know what you want. Some people are clear that committing to an intimate relationship is not a priority so the topic will be totally irrelevant. It helps when you have an idea of the kind the person who is compatible with you in terms of core values, life goals or ideal lifestyle, as compatibility is crucial in maintaining a healthy and long-term relationship. To achieve that, you have to know yourself first.
Having said that, it does not mean that you should come out with an exhaustive list of how the person should look or be like. People grow and change over time, so will you and your potential partner? If one is overly fixated to a list of the criteria of “Mr or Miss Right”, opportunities may slip away quietly.
For example, some people would like their partner to have an X amount of annual income while others like a certain height or skin tone. What if a decent person comes by but falls slightly out of the bracket? Would you consider him or her? A person once told me, “Ask not only what the other person can offer, ask what you can offer as well.”
I would like to think that trust and respect, which will in turn lead to acceptance, as two fundamental elements in any relationships. These qualities are crucial for relationships to grow beyond the period of “having chemistry”, and eventually bloom into something much more substantial.
Another observation is, one did not pay enough attention in the places where people with similar interests hang out. It is just like looking into the sector you like to pick the right stocks. People do not look into the construction sector to buy a banking company, yes? Unless, you like to be surprised. If that is the case, just go with the flow!
A friend told me, “You don't find the right one, you meet him/ her.” Well, I have to agree on that because opportunity comes knocking on your door when you least expect it.
Now that you have understood your “investment goals”, your “preferred sector” or rather your type of guy or girl, it is time to act upon it. You may find out more about “the company” or initiate a “company visit”. Every successful investment is impossible without actions.
So, be ready. Falling in love may happen even without one's realisation but moving into the next stage is a different story.
The last thing you want is regretting not acting upon opportunities.
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