Business

Saturday October 31, 2009

Planning for a marriage

By EUGENE MAHALINGAM


MARRIAGE has many traits that are similar to running a business – they both need to be transparent and managed in a practical and efficient manner to be successful.

While the objective of a business is purely to generate profits, money is undeniably a vital component for both situations to be sustainable.

Just like how monetary instability can lead to certain death of a business, many marriages falter due to lack of proper financial planning.

And whether we want to admit it or not, one of the main causes of divorce is money, says marriage counselor Steven Anthony.

“Financial problems are among the main reasons marriages break down. Sadly, a lot of couples fail to plan or discuss their financial obligations before a marriage, which include things like spending patterns, household debt and income management,” he tells StarBizweek.

“The problems are usually detected earlier but are often ignored. By the time a decision is made to find a solution, it’s almost always too late to do anything,” he adds.

Divorce lawyer Dinesh Kanavaji says money problems and the breakdown of a marriage are often co-related: “Financial problems create stress, stress results in disagreements which lead to irreconcilable differences and that can result in divorce.”

Whether one is running a business or managing a marriage, the following financial guidance tips can be applied to both situations.

Knowing your role

A partner to a marriage is like a partner to a business – each will have his or her own suitable position and responsibilities. Like a chief executive officer and a chief financial officer, each partner should have specific obligations and should be designated to a job that he or she is most qualified to handle.

In the case of a marriage, if one partner is more ‘hands-on’ at managing the finances, than he or she should be allowed to do so.

Andrew, who has been married for 24 years, says his wife handles the finances in their marriage because he is “useless” at managing money.

“My wife is more prudent and frugal than I am. She is also good at planning what we need to buy for the household. If it were me, we’d run out of money in half a month,” he says.

Leow, who is newly married, says both his wife and him manage the finances on a fairly equal basis.

“Well, we’re both accountants so managing money isn’t a problem. We always discuss how to manage our finances for the month ahead, when and what to spend on,” he says.

Setting financial plans and goals

Just like how a company has its own financial goals and targets, be it for the short or long term, married couples too need to plan ahead.

Financial planner Marcus Wong says couples should similarly “budget” their spending, and even record them if necessary.

“Just like how companies have annual reports to track their spending, married couples also could jot down their spending habits and review them at the end of the month.

“Having written records is a great way to know if you’ve made the right financial decisions, whether you’ve been spending unnecessarily and to check where your money is going,” he says.

Wong adds that just like companies, couples should always plan ahead.

“Be like an oil company that’s monitoring oil prices. I always like to anticipate the worst. That way, you’ll always be ready for a rainy day.”

Azman, who has been married for almost two years, says his wife and him divide the bills between each other.

“I pay the mortgage, maintenance fees, quit rent and assessments while my wife pays for the utilities, groceries, cable TV (Astro) and Internet access.

“We also try to save money every month in the event of emergencies. Sometimes, something in the house breaks down and may need repairing, for instance. On weekends out, we take turns treating each other,” he says.

Respecting each other

A business would certainly run into problems quickly if its CEO did not treat his fellow board members or employees with respect, trust and consideration.

Asha, a consultant, believes one needs to give respect in order to earn respect.

“When an employer treats his employees with respect, he gets in return more than what is expected of his workers. In the same way, when we regard our spouse with respect, we gain their respect and even more,” she says.

In sickness and in health

Even CEOs need to take the day off when they’re feeling under the weather. And when this happens, his or her ‘next-in-line’ should be more than able to carry on running the business until the rightful person is able to resume duties.

When one marriage partner is sick, the other should be able to carry on the functions of both spouses for the time being.

In extreme circumstances, one spouse could end up losing his or her job and may become unemployed for a while. In this instance, the strain of managing the finances will be borne by one party.

“That’s why it’s important to prepare for the worst,” Wong reiterates, adding that a lot of marriages can end up breaking down when one partner stays unemployed a little bit too long.

“It’s never easy. For the one who’s unemployed, complacency of staying at home can set in. This could cause the sole working partner to get angry. Tempers flare and well, you know what happens next.”

Doing it with love

Just like how it takes commitment and passion to run a business efficiently, the situation is no different in a marriage.

Karen, who has been married for over 50 years, says it was her belief and faith in her husband and their marriage that kept them going for so long.

“We have certainly had our ups and downs, be it financial or otherwise. But at the end of the day, you have to know deep down that this is something you and your partner have committed yourselves to for as long as you can.

“Even with all the money in the world, I feel that if you have no passion and commitment for whatever you’re doing, than you’re just wasting your time,” she says.

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